I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
