Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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