oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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