elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
