I think my vagina is haunted
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
