i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
