Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
