I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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