OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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