"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize