what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
