Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
