Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
