Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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