I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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