Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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