I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
