I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
