if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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