Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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