you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
