..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
