I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
then he tried to convert me to islam
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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