At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
