So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
