You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
