so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
