i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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