Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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