i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
