Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
