dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
only if we run a train.
done.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Pooping to opera.
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