What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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