Don't you send me to vm
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
