I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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