you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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