Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
