i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
