Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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