First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
