There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Can you bring me the toilet please
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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