please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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