If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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