Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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