I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Still dying that you shit outside
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
