I love black thongs
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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