I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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