roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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