For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
