good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
