did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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