I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
