well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize