The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
