He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
