So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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