ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize