physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
