Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
grandma shit on top of the toilet
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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