I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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