Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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