I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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