Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
FUCK WHALES
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
