He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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