i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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